This week's writing challenge
from
from
Five Sentence Fiction
( Lillie McFerrin Writes )
is based upon the prompt:
is based upon the prompt:
Changes
What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week Lillie posts one word for inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word.
This didn't come out as well as I'd like. Perhaps I'll do a rewrite at some point.
Lost in the Moment
Brad had heard his parent's complain for what seemed like the millionth time: "You take yourself so seriously, but you don't seem to have a clue to what path your life should take" or "That boy doesn't know if he's coming or going." He walked down the dusty road for hours, the warm summer wind blowing a thousand thoughts around in his mind, trying to figure out why they couldn't understand him or see his point of view. He closed his eyes to the summer heat, letting the dry breeze guide his steps. When Brad stopped to look behind him—or what he thought was the way he'd come—there were no traces of his footprints, all blown away by the wind. He couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry when he realized they might be right. 
© 2012-2015 K. R. Smith All rights reserved
Oh, I like this very much. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteThanks! There a few rough/awkward areas in it that should be reworked, but I'm glad you were able to understand the feeling behind it!
DeleteHaving something is always the best first step. And I love his introspection...and the name Brad. It's a strong name. :)
ReplyDeleteThe introspection comes naturally - I did a lot of that when I was Brad's age! And the name - I put that in at the last minute. I usually have a name in mind when I start writing, but this time it took a while to come to me.
DeleteA nice job on the prompt!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kate! And again, I apologize for taking so long to acknowledge your comment. It has been a difficult month.
DeleteIn any event, always happy to see a new reader!
Loved this piece. The sense of walking away with no trace. Like that. I missed this challenge, kept thinking about it, but been too hectic to sit and write!
ReplyDeleteI've barely had time to write this last month, so I understand. It must be a bad time for a lot of writers because I've heard/read this from others, too.
DeleteAnyway, thanks for stopping by to read, and I'm glad you liked it!
I read this like a metaphor. That his footprints disappearing meant he was getting a clean slate and what he did or didn't do in the past no longer mattered. He came to this conclusion by taking time out. Often we, as writers, get better results when we step away from what we're working on, take time out and remove distractions much like Brad.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this K R.
While it wasn't my original idea for this piece, I can see how that works, especially if he decided to laugh when he found his footprints missing!
DeleteAnd I'm very glad you stopped by to read it! Thanks!