This week's writing challenge
from
from
Five Sentence Fiction
( Lillie McFerrin Writes )
is based upon the prompt:
is based upon the prompt:
Abandon
What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week Lillie posts one word for inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word.
Time to call the real estate agent...
Gone were the crowds, the throngs of people who danced at the balls, celebrated holidays, and relaxed on the now-unkempt grounds. There were no visitors who called, no giggling children, no misplayed notes on the piano whose keys had long ago turned yellow. The music and laughter that once resounded through its rooms were only a dim memory in the minds of a few who remembered its magnificence. Now, only darkness and decay wandered the great halls. And one, it is said, whose forlorn face sometimes appeared at a window.
© 2012-2015 K. R. Smith All rights reserved
Beautifully described, such a sense of distance, of loss of the past, and a hint of supernatural...great stuff!
ReplyDeleteThanks! It's always great to get a compliment from someone who is actually an author (of real books!). I'll get there someday myself - I hope!
DeleteYou totally capture the sense of desertion. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteThanks! When the editor says it's OK, it must be OK!
DeleteGreat flash fiction piece, I can visualise the decadent former past of the ruined building. Love it 😊
DeleteThanks! I means a lot when the reader can see what I write!
DeleteLike they say, only memories remain in the ruins. Beautifully written, Sir:)
ReplyDeleteMany thanks for reading and commenting! I'm glad you liked it!
DeleteAbsolutely lovely! You brought the scene alive.
ReplyDeleteThanks you for your kind words, and for taking the time to read my story!
DeleteThis is wonderful! Beautiful imagery and I love the ending. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteThanks! And the ending--is there really someone there? Someday I'll have to finish the story!
Delete"The music and laughter that once resounded through its rooms were only a dim memory in the minds of a few who remembered its magnificence. " Excellent sentence! It beats on steadily, almost ominously. You've set a wonderfully atmospheric tone here. I'd like to see what else came of this!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tess! If only I had more time to write! I'm working on a teen/young adult short story at the moment, and between work and commuting I never seem to be able get back to the keyboard. Perhaps I'll add more to this when I get a break.
DeleteTime? What is this thing you call time?
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to that teen /ya story. Keep plodding along!
Time? It is the most precious commodity in the Universe - or so it seems.
DeleteAs far as the YA story, even if it isn't selected for publication, I'll make sure you get to read it.