 | This week's writing challenge from Five Sentence Fiction ( Lillie McFerrin Writes ) is based upon the prompt: Rain |
What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week Lillie posts one word for inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word.
A short one this week...
Tears Among the Raindrops
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| Falling_rain_in_Mexico.jpg © Tomas Castelazo, www.tomascastelazo.com / Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY-SA-3.0, via Wikimedia Commons |
He found her standing outside a café as the rain began to fall, broken-hearted and sobbing. He had always loved her, and hoped someday she would notice, but as he walked her home through the downpour, she vowed never to let herself fall for another man.
"I like the rain," she said, tilting her face up toward the sky. "It hides my tears."
"Mine, too," he replied.
Image source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AFalling_rain_in_mexico.jpg
Description: Falling rain in downtown Leon, Guanajuato, Mexico.
© 2012-2014 K. R. Smith All rights reserved
Love can be tragic. Fortunately I got an unexpected reversal of fortune, but so many people don't.
ReplyDeleteThat's great! Sad endings can make a good story, but happy endings are better in real life!
DeleteThis one really got me, KR. A simple, yet powerful expression of real human emotions. Wonderful use of the prompt, too. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I have been working on being succinct. Sometimes I use too many words and the impact is lost.
DeleteWhen two hearts find common likes, hopes grow where only death used to lie.
ReplyDeleteI'm enchanted by the bit of sunshine you let us glimpse through the downpour. ;-)
With a bit of luck, perhaps these two will find each other - and I'll have another story to write!
DeleteI feel sad for both of them: the poor blind girl (who can't see the love in front of her) and the poor longing boy who sees love all to clearly but cannot grasp it.
ReplyDeleteI love how words have the power to encapsulate moments and convey emotions. Well done, K.
Thank you, Tess. It is often hardest to see what is right in front us and to understand what seem to be so clear. I'm hoping they work it out eventually.
DeleteSorry it is taking so long to respond to your comments (and to everyone else's)! It's been a busy time for me.
I wonder if they'll ever let down their barriers enough to realise..??
ReplyDeleteI hope so. It would make a good story!
DeleteThanks for reading and commenting!
ohhh.. hope they find each love for each other
ReplyDeleteTina from The Sunny Side of Life
I think they will. People who feel emotions strongly have a difficult time hiding them!
DeleteOh how incredibly written. That wealth of emotion in the last line is so powerful! 'Mine too'. So lovely!
ReplyDeleteShailaja/The Moving Quill
Thanks! That was my hope for this post.
DeleteLove can lead us down a torturous path, but the prize can be worth the effort! Perhaps it will work out for these two, given time.
ReplyDeleteYour post sound like it could be a part of a much longer story Sounds interesting!
ReplyDeleteSuch emotion...I can feel the heartache.
ReplyDeleteThanks! You can feel it from both sides...
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