 | This week's writing challenge from Five Sentence Fiction ( Lillie McFerrin Writes ) is based upon the prompt: Fenced |
What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week Lillie posts one word for inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word.
A poem, for a change...
A Link To The Outside
The fog drifts in from the water and crawls along the shore,
Passing through the fence unhindered,
A wispy spirit whose chill presence
Makes my tired body shiver.
But I shouldn't complain;
It gives cover from spying eyes,
The eyes of those who would deny my needs,
From those who would punish me.
A seagull taunts from the ashen sky,
Laughing,
Mockingly demonstrating how easily he soars
Between my world and his.
But I ignore the supercilious bird
For time is short and there is work to do,
Work that must be done today,
Now, quietly.
Only a few more links,
Just a few more snips,
And, if the guard should look away,
I will be free.
K. R. Smith
Image source Image source http://lilliemcferrin.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/hole-in-fence.jpg via Lillie McFerrin's FSF, originally posted at http://www.soulseeds.com/fb-inspiration/2013/03/seed-of-free-mind/
© 2012-2014 K. R. Smith All rights reserved
Such a good take on the photo, love how you describe
ReplyDeleteTina from The Sunny Side of Life
Thank you! You can tell what I was thinking when I saw the photo from reading the previous comment to Jo-Anne. It really set the mood for me.
DeleteWhat a thrilling freedom it'll be! Hope he gets to be free :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! Your comment brings up an idea that I didn't consider when I wrote the poem. Do we want the person to be free or is there a reason why they are within the fence? Either is valid, and the great thing is that the reader can decide which scenario they wish to visualize. One of the best parts of these writing challenges (for me) is to see how others interpret what I write. Sometimes I get an idea for a whole new story!
DeleteThanks! The photo is probably where I got the most inspiration for this one - it looks like San Francisco bay, and I kept thinking of Alcatraz.
ReplyDeleteYes, you definitely set the mood in such beautiful poetry! Personally, I'm not sure I want him to be free...I'm not sure what his 'needs' are!
ReplyDeleteThat was what I was aiming for - that uncertainty about the character wanting to be free. It sounds good, but is it?
DeleteThanks for reading and commenting!
Wonderfully written...enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteD.B. McNicol
Romance & Mystery...writing my life
Thanks! (Maybe there's a motorcycle waiting outside the fence to take him away.)
DeleteVery metaphorical.
ReplyDeleteYes, parts of it are. Thanks for reading and commenting. I always like to hear how others view my writing!
DeleteWith the picture, I can't help but think of Alcatraz. Beautiful poem, light-hearted ending.
ReplyDeleteYes, I got the same feeling from the picture! Thanks for stopping by!
DeleteI like it, the ending made the story.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'm a little surprised by how many people have commented on this poem - I guess more folks are reading my blog than I thought!
DeleteI am sitting here, reading that last verse over and over again. A powerful contrast in imagery to the first few stanzas. The desperation is so evident. Oh, well done!
ReplyDeleteShailaja/The Moving Quill
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it well enough to read it more than once!
Delete